So You Want to Talk Emotion

Have you watched a little boy ponder a beetle? They start by analyzing how they move, flip them over to see the belly and then the real curiosity kicks in. They dissect the little beetle limb by limb seeing how they move and recover based on the number of limbs left. Depending on the age, they may do either the smell or taste test for final assessment.

Revelations 1:19 “Write therefore the things that you have seen, those that are and those that are to take place after this”.

In some things we overanalyze the functions of the world around us. Trying to place meaning to every event or detail in our lives. I believe there are some things we simply need to accept and go on with life. Getting to bogged down in the details can distract from real issues.

Just like the child and the bug, men try to approach things logically. When we discuss topics with our wives we want to keep the conversation to logic and tasks. This is easiest for us to manage because of how we are wired. When our wives ask us to open up and discuss our emotions they are asking us to open up a section of our psyche that we are taught to close away most of our lives. Being a man for many families means closing away that part of us that are wives treasure the most. Only through time and understanding will that secret part of us be discovered. Depending on upbringing and life experience that part of us can be easier or harder to reach. Wives may need to look at family dynamics to understand the difficulty of this challenge.

Not to say every woman is emotional and every man is logical is too specific, but most will fit within this stereotype in some fashion. Wives that understand this difference will grasp the significance when their husbands do let them in. To find that point of truth and trust in a relationship that nothing is held back. It is when we both feel safe that we can hear each other out completely.

Husbands on the other hand need to understand that wives are more commonly attuned to their emotions. Rather than only accessed at limited points, wives entire thinking process is connected through emotion. Conversation prompts thoughts that are connected by emotional significance. That is why many times a conversation with your wife may bounce through many different topics. Do not be discouraged or frustrated, thinking they are not listening or understanding what you are talking about, but instead stay with them and the mental gymnastics they are going through. In some crazy way it will all relate. If you need, you can talk about the process of their logic. Most important, be sensitive to each other. When opening up you are most vulnerable. If insensitive substantial hurt can occur.

Anytime you need a serious conversation with each other choose a safe place that you both agree with. Be clear about what you both expect in your conversation. Be open to additional information that is shared. Respect Each Other!