You walk into a jewelry store and mention you are looking at engagement rings. In an instant all the sales staff converges on you wanting to share their knowledge of diamonds. Your head is filled with information on cut, clarity and color. You feel weak in the knees as they ramble about price and financing. Finally, you run out overwhelmed at all that goes into the choice of a simple ring. How much harder is it going to be once you are married? The pit of your stomach churns in the anxiety of whether you are making the right decision or not. How do you know what’s right?
Matthew 19:4,5 “He answered, Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh”?
You swoon at the thought of THE question and anticipate the date. If you are the man you brain storm ideas, what is the right way to propose? As the woman you imagine the moment, a soft smile upon your lips and explore the ideas of the perfect proposal with friends. All you want is to know that you are both feeling and thinking the same way.
After you get your legs under you and have decided on a ring, it is time to finalize the commitment. For some that may mean going to her father for permission. Not a bad idea to be on the good side of her father and mother. Once you have their blessing, what is going to be the best way to ask? Mom and Dad may have some ideas on this topic also. You can also include them in the process to allow more creativity or adventure. Then there is always the issue of the parents that are not so “excited” about the concept. Like in a medieval sword fight, the heaviest emotional blow can come from the doubting words of a parent, sometimes your own. Or you may be met with the test of wills and the devil’s advocate approach. If you truly love the women you are inquiring about, these moments will not daunt you. Consider them your first micro lesson on marriage, ponder all the comments, the result will be a slightly stronger foundation for your relationship. Remember, parents love their children deeply.
Now on the other hand, there is a school of thought that says, “Why does it matter what the parents think?” True it is your life, but remember, they are going to become part of your life too or have been part of your life for a very long time and like to be included. If you choose not to be a traditionalist in this area, it is okay but do not be surprised if the topic is brought up over and over again through the course of your relationship. We call this “being historical” and this particular element of the young relationship is one parents seem to remember. The story of the engagement and all the events will live and be told a long time. If you doubt this concept, consider the tales of Robin Hood. What do you hear about most? His deeds or his relationship…
I have heard many different amazing proposals. Don’t feel pressure from any of them. You need to make it special to the two of you.
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