In Brazil there is a group of men that martyr themselves. They begin by flogging themselves as they march down the streets. When they arrive at the outside of the city they are secured to a cross and hoisted skyward. They put their body through this each year believing this is what Christ meant by dying to yourself. They avoid joy and self impose sacrifice to prove their commitment to Christ. I believe they missed the true message of God.
I John 1:5 “This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all”.
Just like these men in Brazil I hear of husbands and wives being martyrs to the bad decisions they made in the past. I am confident that God intended marriage to be full of love and joy. I know this because God is Love. Do not buy into the messages from society that marriage is a drudgery or chore. Marriage does not need to be drudgery unless you accept it that way. Things happen, but there is no reason it should hang over your marriage forever. If you have asked forgiveness and served the consequences of that choice, do not carry the sorrow and pain year after year. So often, even though everyone else has moved on, spouses continue to start each morning wallowing in the pain of that decision. If they find joy and release they scramble to grab back hold of that “humble” attitude because they don’t feel they are worthy of the joy.
Self martyrdom is not humility! It is arrogant manipulation. By holding on to this emotion you cause hurt and harm to your spouse and family. Those believing that marriage is like a prison do not understand the true purpose of marriage. Marriage is supposed to be an opportunity to understand the true character of God. Marriage is to be an example of the relationship between God and the church. Each marriage is designed to be filled with joy, love and forgiveness. None of us are perfect, but we are all forgiven. Rather than dragging your family through a mire of negative emotion, accept the forgiveness and be an example of God’s unconditional love. There is so much to be happy and blessed by each day. Do not let the world steal the joy of your family away. There is no cost to joy except the investment of yourself in your family. Let your family be part of your life. Find reasons to laugh, smile and share joy with all those around you. Beat back the negative messages of the world. Do not involve yourself in negative bantering with friends and coworkers bashing marriage. Avoid movies and shows that tear down family and marriage. Find inspiration for your marriage.
Show your family how much you truly love them. Give up whatever is stealing the joy away from you and your family. LOVE!
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