Where is Your Fire?

You feel the heat pounding at your covered skin, crackling sounds surround you everywhere. In the distance you watch trees exploding, like a bomb was pushed in their center. Shards of small debris and earth take flight. The oxygen sucking from your chest as a bright orange glow races towards you. Dropping to the ground and hiding your face you listen as a train races up to you. Only a thin layer of fabric separates you from the outside. Winds swirling and pulling at you as you pray and wait. Is this the end…or the beginning? If you get out of this you promise to live life differently.

II Thessalonians 3:3 “But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one”.

The thrill, excitement and fear create a rush of adrenalin that can’t be imagined unless you have been in a similar experience. Your body tingles as you feel every change in the air. Your ears are sensitive to the slightest changes in sound. Your body convulsing with the desire to flee, knowing if you run you will not survive. Fighting between logic and fear, you weigh in ever second. Finally, the fire has burned by. You stand up to look around. The ground is charred all around you. The heat still pounds at you, making it difficult to breathe. What was an area impassable because of vegetation is now open and devastated. Your brain starts to work again and you look around. The nagging questions rush over you as you slowly search for the other members of your team. Feeling relief, after you have a count and all are still there.

What gives your relationship that jump start. That rush of adrenalin that heightens the senses. I really believe that we all need to find that fire that burned so bright when we were newly married. It is a time when nothing else matters but each other. Every part of our survival bound to that other person. Not just getting through life, but adding value to life and each other? We need to invest in our relationship and find what it takes to meet the needs of our spouse. We need to clearly communicate our needs to our spouse as well. Do not hide in fantasy and dreams, but include each other in reality and goals.

My wife, trying to understand and share in a dream of mine, volunteered as a fire fighter for six months. Even though it scared her to death, she found a connection to me and the industry I loved. Accepting her limitations we found an area that she could be involved, but not so overwhelmed. Even though we were each doing different jobs we were able to support and encourage each other.

In my wife’s case she desires to take dance lessons. It is a desire attached to a romantic idea of dressing up and elegance. Leaving all our worries behind and just learning how to move together in different way. Just as in this, find dreams and desires that can be accomplished with each other. Things that put the fire back in your marriage. Accomplishments, that you can both be encouraged doing as well as a time to connect and share with each other. Some things may be overwhelming and scary, but they offer understanding into what makes each of us special and drawn to each other. Try new things or go back to some old things you have stopped doing.

Create a safe, relaxed moment where you can put the fire back in your marriage.