What is it about a cup of coffee in the morning? Is it the warm cup in your hands, the steam on your nose, or the taste in the morning? All over the world, coffee is prepared in different ways. People develop their preferences in bean, style, and added ingredients. There are heated debates on what makes the best cup of coffee. Drip, pressed, or espresso, but they all start with water and coffee beans.
Ephesians 5:28 “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself”.
Men and women develop routines and behaviors to improve ourselves all through school. Spending time in a weight room or practicing our sport, if we are an athlete. Studying, reading and research if we are academic oriented. Mixing and experimenting if our main craving is food. After graduation unless we are part of that elite, we change our focus. We spend more energy holding on to jobs and improving our financial base so we can survive. We work for gain so that we can feed little indulgences, such as a cup of coffee. Not that coffee is critical for our very existence, but simply a pleasure to start our day.
What is it that you do for yourself to just feel a little better? For me a cup of coffee is a source of balance in my world. I started to enjoy coffee on the cold mornings after practicing in an outdoor pool. It wasn’t so much the taste, but the warming feeling it offered in my hands that seemed to move throughout my body. I would breathe in the steam that seemed to open up my lungs. After years I acquired a taste for the source of heat and people around me started to offer their recommendations on the best way to enjoy coffee. My surfing coach always explained simple is better. Nothing is better than a black coffee from VG’s after surfing. While I worked as a medic a doctor introduced me to coffee so thick you could pour it out on your pancakes. With a little syrup you would have a nutty taste that would kick start the next 24 hour shift. All and all, I began to enjoy my coffee routine.
My wife on the other hand had not acquired a taste for coffee that I had. Wanting her to find the pleasure I found in a morning cup of coffee, I began mixing and searching for blends that gave her some understanding of the joy that I had. It started with mocha and bagel with cream cheese at work. We started brewing coffee at home experimenting with different blends. In this experience we realized that it was not simply the coffee that we enjoyed, but the time together in the morning. I found that I could nurture my wife by getting up and preparing a cup of coffee in the morning. Waking up a few minutes earlier, so we could drink our coffee together and talk without interruption. Sometimes we would watch the sun come up together and enjoy the beauty of the day. Share a verse or poem we had read while still in bed. Most importantly, we were together. Taking time together to reinforce the love we have for each other. Once the day has started it is tough to connect, especially when we are running different directions. In the evening we find we are both tired and distracted by the needs of our children. But in the morning, it is our time. We are able to focus on each other and encourage each other as we prepare for our day.
So what is your routine that you do for yourself? The one thing I know for sure is we all have habits or routines that we do to care for ourselves. Doing something to help our mental health and find a little joy in each day. In marriage it is important that you find that something that you can do with each other. You desire to feel good and positive. Wouldn’t it make sense to include your spouse in this time? We are now one body, one unit so it is important to find one time together. It may be morning, afternoon, or evening. The important thing is discussing it and finding something that works for the both of you.
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