Point System

We are taught from the first year of school how important points are. Kindergarten awards points for behavior and as we develop that system is transferred to a scale measuring our success. In high school it may be the grades you earn. If you are working it may be a measurement for monthly, semi-annual or annual evaluations. In all cases points are a measure against something we have done for some reward.

Hebrews 8:12 “For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.”

I was talking with a friend about the party he put together for his wife and the points he gained for it. By doing something special and outstanding for his wife he has gained favor. With this favor he has the ability to exchange it for an opportunity to do something he desires to do himself. Hunting, fishing or another manly thing he would like to do this spring. How many husbands bank points so that they can do something they want? Not that I am telling you this is wrong, but to offer food for thought.

When we are married we give up the possession of our own body. We give it as a gift freely to our spouse. In so doing we have committed to the care of our spouse as well. Should we then be keeping score in order to negotiate for selfish desires? On the other hand, should we let our desires be known so that our spouse can give us the desires of our heart out of love for each other?

We do need to find ways to motivate each other. We may need to encourage each other to accomplish things that need to get done. Simple motivation or exchange can be a part of a relationship, but how is that exchange managed. Rather than an exchange service for service or point for point we need to find the best way to support each other. Find a method that is healthy for our relationship. Every relationship is different so needs and motivation will be different for each couple. You need to talk through these things so that you find the best way to care for your spouse and they know how to best care for you.

In whatever you decide make it special to the two of you. What works for someone else may not be the same for you. This is where outside advice may just complicate your life. You can hear different ideas that other people use, but always find what works best for you.