For those that are young I suggest taking care of your bodies. As you grow older injuries and illness add stress to living. The more pain you suffer, the more struggles for your family to manage as well. To my wife, I look at your face and see the worry and struggle you bear, the finances you juggle, and the children you encourage through it all. Thank you for being there!
I Corinthians 10:23 “All things are lawful, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful, but not all things build up”.
I made a choice November 2007 to get out of my car and help a friend. While there I was run over by a SUV that crushed my pelvis. My intention was to help and there was nothing wrong with that, but because of that choice my family carries a burden. The stress that has been placed on my wife because of this event has changed a lot of things in our lives and relationship, but through it we are even closer. In one instant or if one thing had gone differently I would not be here today. I had some control of my circumstances, but not everyone gets that chance. I have friends and acquaintances that are dealing with different types of cancer, heart issues, and other disease processes. I have watched depression rip through families. The struggles in those marriages are the same. Their spouses look on with helplessness as they have no way to help. In some cases that helplessness causes such conflict that they run away. Their relationship dissolves and bitterness replaces that amazing love they had for each other.
Why do some marriages endure and others crumble? I believe it is the foundation that their relationship is built on. The marriage built on physical needs falls apart when your body fails either by age or injury. If your marriage is built on success it goes the direction of the money or status. There are those marriages that are built on a strong foundation in both love and friendship that crisis hits and they still crash. So what makes the difference?
The difference is the counsel that surrounds us. Start with the model of our parents. Our parents modeled relationships that endured through the good times and bad. They are also there to offer wise counsel. They may not always agree with us in everything we do, but they are an encouragement to our marriage. Evaluate your parents when you have a chance. Will they be a good example and source of encouragement when you go through struggles? If not maybe you need to limit their influence in your relationship.
Friends can play a huge role in your successful marriage. Who are the friends that you stay in close contact with? Are they friends that encourage your relationship or do they encourage separation and independence? We have been blessed with friends that have come along side us and have encouraged us through the down times and celebrated in joy with us. We have a church family that has supported us when I was no longer able and taken time to encourage us through the day to day things. Those friendships have shifted as far as involvement based on needs of each other, but we are still there for each other when we call. Let me encourage you to find friends and people that will encourage you! The true friends are those that will be there during your deepest need! As you mature and grow together those friends should change, so do not be concerned. You want those of like mind to stay around, but those that cause conflict to move on. We do not do well as an island separated from other people, but it doesn’t mean we need to hold onto the same people through our entire lives. Relationships with friends will shift and flow like the tides of the ocean. Encourage each other and allow those changes to occur.
Understand that not only do we mature and change, but our bodies will change also. There will be times we look at each other and just do not like each other, but that does not mean we do not love one another. Do not fret these times, but embrace them. We grow in this way If we dig down and remember why we love each other those feeling too will pass and our relationship will become even stronger for it. There will be a time when youth is gone. Look beyond the appearance and find pleasure in the true beauty that remains. Finally, when our health has faltered it is tough for everyone involved. By creating a solid foundation these struggles can be overcome easily. Many hands makes light work. Remember, marriage is Sacred!
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