Husbands - Love is Kind

When we think of love the next word shared to describe love is that it is kind. Webster’s defines kind as having or showing a tender, considerate, and helping nature. So as husbands, we are instructed to love our wives. This in turn means we must be kind to our wives.

Proverbs 11: 17 “A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself.”

I know I grew up with a competitive attitude. Whether it was sports, politics, or possessions I was always competing to be the winner. It did not even matter if I cared about what or who I was competing against. Many times I would debate the opposite side simply to be competing so that there was a clear winner and looser even if I didn’t agree with the position I was defending.

How often have we argued with our wives simply to argue? I know the movies imply that arguing is positive, promoting the concept of “make-up sex” or having a barter point for when we want something for ourselves. How many times have we walked away from an argument feeling bad or hurt? In the end nothing positive may come from it at all. Most situations of divorce are simply because of an argument with misunderstandings that never get resolved. How many times were those arguments preventable or not even necessary?

Rather than pushing for an argument that we can win, maybe we might go further in our relationship by being considerate of our wives and their feelings. By being tender, considerate and helping, our relationship is given food to grow. Many studies have shown women are emotional by nature. By feeding their emotions in a positive way we encourage a healthy relationship. Too often we sabotage ourselves by not considering their emotions and reacting to statements without considering the full picture. Our wives may be considering the full impact of a decision and not just the narrow view we are focusing on. Or because of our pride and determination we push to win the argument even though we know we are wrong.

Be slow in decisions and consider all points of view. I know this is very tough for me. I want to make a plan and drive for it without considering the outcome. Many times I make things harder on myself because I fight through my plan until it works or fails miserably, rather than taking the easy way around. Then I have to accept the consequences attached to my decisions.

Being a helper has its own merits. By helping your wife with her burdens, comes great benefit. I know my wife and I both push hard at work as well as at home and anything I can do to take the burden off her makes more time for the two of us together. When I am helpful, I also find our household more at peace when we are running in all the crazy directions we do. Sharing the responsibility of household, children and activities makes it easier to set time aside for each other.

Nurture each other. Practice kindness in your home. Leave competition to when you are playing sports or at work.