For most of my life I have been target oriented. When I would take off on a road trip I would tell everyone to use the bathroom now, because we are not stopping until I need to fill the gas tank. There would be moans and groans, but everyone would settle in not believing I would make them wait. Five minutes into the trip someone would test my resolve and find out I was serious. Three hundred miles later, tears streaming down their face, they would break for the door as the car barely swings into the station. I had a schedule and was committed to keep it. I didn’t consider anything but the destination or planned stops. Speeding through life and later regretting I didn’t slow down.
Psalms 77:19 “Your way was through the sea, your path through the great waters; yet your footprints were unseen”.
Marriage is about the journey. Too often we lose sight of everything around, because we become focused on the next landmark. First may be getting through the wedding and then staying married through the three, five or seven year itch, depending on who you talk to. We rush our relationship through the next big landmark so we are not caught in the tragedy of statistics. By being worried about reaching the next big date in our relationship we miss out on the amazing moments with our special someone.
It is important that we slow down and experience the journey. No map or schedule is going to get us through each day, because each day holds its own adventure. Relationship is about learning and developing together. Embrace each day as a new opportunity. It’s a time to get to know something else about each other. As a newlywed do not focus on preparing for that time everyone tells you that you are going to run into trouble in your relationship. There is nothing to say when or why you will struggle in your marriage except if you do not work on it every day. When you stop listening and taking time for each other, problems creep in. Depending on how diligent you are, will define when those struggles will occur. By working on your relationship together each day, those times will be nothing more than a transition in maturity, and you will gain new strength from it.
As you are married longer some things may become routine and lost to the mundane. It is important to relate and recognize this change in relationship and find ways to encourage each other. Life is filled with a series of events so it is important to learn new ways of communicating through them. Showing appreciation to each other for maintaining the routine can be even more important than the rewards for exceptional events. Remember to tell each other how much you Love each other and reinforce it with action. By assuming the other knows leaves an opening for small things to become big issues.
Don’t be in a race to reach the next destination, but be compassionate to each other. Stop when you need and check in with each other. Slow down when your spouse voices a need. Enjoy the journey. You will reach your destination, but be a lot healthier for it.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
REMEMBER
It is a bright beautiful morning on the west coast. The sun has risen and everyone is getting ready for school. Preparing for work or school, cartoons playing on the television. Suddenly, that all changed. The shatter of a plate on the ground, still quiet of disbelief, and the air rushed out of our chest. Is this real? Shaken and confused everyone responded in their own way. We saw Americans reach for inhuman bounds for others.
Romans 13:12 “The night is far gone; the day is at hand . So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light.”
So it’s been nine years and I hear a lot of positioning and politics. We are at war in Afganistan and Iraq still. War weary we forget the carnage, the emotion and the resolve to see this through. I hear and see a lot of “we Remember” statements, but when I talk with others many barely remember more than the fringes. So now that your children are grown and time has changed how do you talk about it now.
Be honest! What did you feel, what did you do, how did you respond? My wife and I have made it a point to talk about it, not for purpose of fear, but to share the fortitude and commitment that everyone offered each other. We rallied together as Americans. Committed to seeing things through. Now it’s been nine years and we have returned to a mundane routine. Everyone is war weary and no longer have the commitment to see things through. Looking for who’s to blame for the war. We all desired to see those responsible brought to justice. Now we are given “politically correct” statements. Don’t use terrorist, give them rights as citizens, and get out as soon as we can.
My wife and I talked with our kids about all the details and experiences as well as what they remember. It doesn’t feel real anymore. We talk about the changes that have occurred. Security at airports and other facilities have been increased. Life is slower to ensure everyone’s safety. Life is now more complicated. We supported the decision to go to war and protect our way of life. We are still committed to see that decision through.
My wife and I have felt the sorrow of loss, cried for those lost, and remembered a time of fear and insecurity. We believe it is important that our kids understand that insecurity, but not live in fear today. We have decided to raise our children with compassion and love for others. Not telling them to just be walked over, but to care and respect all people. The lesson from September 11th should be the compassion we have showed each other during a time of heart ache and loss as well as a commitment to protect ourselves and our neighbors.
TEACH RESPECT! TEACH DETERMINATION!
Romans 13:12 “The night is far gone; the day is at hand . So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light.”
So it’s been nine years and I hear a lot of positioning and politics. We are at war in Afganistan and Iraq still. War weary we forget the carnage, the emotion and the resolve to see this through. I hear and see a lot of “we Remember” statements, but when I talk with others many barely remember more than the fringes. So now that your children are grown and time has changed how do you talk about it now.
Be honest! What did you feel, what did you do, how did you respond? My wife and I have made it a point to talk about it, not for purpose of fear, but to share the fortitude and commitment that everyone offered each other. We rallied together as Americans. Committed to seeing things through. Now it’s been nine years and we have returned to a mundane routine. Everyone is war weary and no longer have the commitment to see things through. Looking for who’s to blame for the war. We all desired to see those responsible brought to justice. Now we are given “politically correct” statements. Don’t use terrorist, give them rights as citizens, and get out as soon as we can.
My wife and I talked with our kids about all the details and experiences as well as what they remember. It doesn’t feel real anymore. We talk about the changes that have occurred. Security at airports and other facilities have been increased. Life is slower to ensure everyone’s safety. Life is now more complicated. We supported the decision to go to war and protect our way of life. We are still committed to see that decision through.
My wife and I have felt the sorrow of loss, cried for those lost, and remembered a time of fear and insecurity. We believe it is important that our kids understand that insecurity, but not live in fear today. We have decided to raise our children with compassion and love for others. Not telling them to just be walked over, but to care and respect all people. The lesson from September 11th should be the compassion we have showed each other during a time of heart ache and loss as well as a commitment to protect ourselves and our neighbors.
TEACH RESPECT! TEACH DETERMINATION!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
When Lightening Strikes
I love to curl up with my wife and watch a lightening storm role in. The thunder rumbles and shakes the walls and the sky lights up. It is amazing the lightening as it flashes from the sky striking the ground. It transmits energy into the air. The electricity causes the hair to stand up all over my body. My mind draws to the thrill of the storm. I feel exhilarated by the excitement.
Colossians 1:17 “And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together”.
What is it about the newlywed stage of a relationship that catches us all? The newlywed offers unique attributes that are easily observed by everyone around. It is a time of energy, touch, and connection far different than any other stage in life. It is about being together before the dynamics of career and kids shift our priorities.
The greatest observable energy between two people is during the newlywed phase. There is electricity that bonds two people no matter where they are in a room. Even though they are separated by distance they will connect in some way to each other. Their time apart is usually limited. They have an understanding of each other when in a group that they naturally care for each other’s needs. Those around them feel that energy and avoid disrupting that connection.
Contact is very important to a newlywed couple. A newlywed couple will touch each other with small gentle brushes or reaches of security. They embrace each other in a way that does not let others invade their moment. A hair drops in the way of her face and the husband may gently brush it aside. They hold hands as they move through a room. As if glued together they stand hip to hip shoulder to shoulder a bound not easily divided. When in public they can be seen kissing, hugging and touching. They are physically engaged with each other.
The other attribute is the glow that radiates from them. Even tired there is a smile that shows on their whole face. As you watch you may catch a glimpse of the twinkle in their eye or a flush of innocent embarrassment when they realize they are being watched. Happiness is the one emotion that consumes them. Some may even comment on how they glow. Different than at the wedding, but still a shine that depicts the emotions they have inside.
So with all the outward expression for everyone to see, what is going on inside? Just as the eyes are a window to the heart their joy is bubbling. There are moments where they have to work through changes, but exhilaration helps to overcome initial difficulties. Newlywed couples are accommodating to each other, passionate and emotional, engaging and consumed about each other’s convictions, willing to compromise, desiring to please.
Being a newlywed is a special time of marriage. The interaction between two people in love does not need to end because everyone says it is time. Being a newlywed is a unique time. Treasure it! Remember, just because you are married for two, five, seven or even thirty years does not mean certain attributes of being newlyweds has to be lost. Connection and commitment to each other as a newlywed can continue through your entire marriage with communication and adoration for each other. Maturity will change reactions and order of importance, but it does not mean the dreamy euphoria of being a newlywed needs to be lost. The magnetic connection that keeps you linked even when you are apart. Protect your relationship with each other. If you have not been feeling that special something in your relationship for some time, maybe it’s time you let lightening strike again in your life.
Colossians 1:17 “And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together”.
What is it about the newlywed stage of a relationship that catches us all? The newlywed offers unique attributes that are easily observed by everyone around. It is a time of energy, touch, and connection far different than any other stage in life. It is about being together before the dynamics of career and kids shift our priorities.
The greatest observable energy between two people is during the newlywed phase. There is electricity that bonds two people no matter where they are in a room. Even though they are separated by distance they will connect in some way to each other. Their time apart is usually limited. They have an understanding of each other when in a group that they naturally care for each other’s needs. Those around them feel that energy and avoid disrupting that connection.
Contact is very important to a newlywed couple. A newlywed couple will touch each other with small gentle brushes or reaches of security. They embrace each other in a way that does not let others invade their moment. A hair drops in the way of her face and the husband may gently brush it aside. They hold hands as they move through a room. As if glued together they stand hip to hip shoulder to shoulder a bound not easily divided. When in public they can be seen kissing, hugging and touching. They are physically engaged with each other.
The other attribute is the glow that radiates from them. Even tired there is a smile that shows on their whole face. As you watch you may catch a glimpse of the twinkle in their eye or a flush of innocent embarrassment when they realize they are being watched. Happiness is the one emotion that consumes them. Some may even comment on how they glow. Different than at the wedding, but still a shine that depicts the emotions they have inside.
So with all the outward expression for everyone to see, what is going on inside? Just as the eyes are a window to the heart their joy is bubbling. There are moments where they have to work through changes, but exhilaration helps to overcome initial difficulties. Newlywed couples are accommodating to each other, passionate and emotional, engaging and consumed about each other’s convictions, willing to compromise, desiring to please.
Being a newlywed is a special time of marriage. The interaction between two people in love does not need to end because everyone says it is time. Being a newlywed is a unique time. Treasure it! Remember, just because you are married for two, five, seven or even thirty years does not mean certain attributes of being newlyweds has to be lost. Connection and commitment to each other as a newlywed can continue through your entire marriage with communication and adoration for each other. Maturity will change reactions and order of importance, but it does not mean the dreamy euphoria of being a newlywed needs to be lost. The magnetic connection that keeps you linked even when you are apart. Protect your relationship with each other. If you have not been feeling that special something in your relationship for some time, maybe it’s time you let lightening strike again in your life.
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