In this world of instant messaging, instant responses, and instant food, we are losing the skills for patience. I love technology personally. I appreciate the ability to get things done quickly and concisely. When technology fails I am quick to become agitated and reactionary. The poor customer service people must dread my phone call and people like me.
Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it.”
I , like many husbands, want to hurry and get to the point. I become impatient and stop listening five minutes after the conversation begins. If I don’t see a purpose or direction in a conversation I find my mind wanders.
It wasn’t until recently that I realized how important it is to go through the process. Like a fine Italian sauce it has to simmer for hours or even days before all the individual ingredients come together creating an incredible explosion of flavor when properly served. Rush it by cooking it at a higher temperature or shorter time and it will be bitter and acidic.
In the same way our conversation with our wives need time to process. Because they are not wired differently all parts of their mind run simultaneously. Everything is interconnected within their mind in ways we might not understand right away. To require your wife to be direct and concise is requiring her to operate different than how she was designed.
Showing love to our wives means we need to go through the process with them. Follow along as they travel through their thoughts and develop a conclusion or decision. As with the sauce the process is as important as the finished product. When rushed feelings are hurt and relationships can begin to sour. Understanding that we may not be able to follow the whole process we still need to be involved. Stir the conversation and be attentive so that you can gather as much information as possible. There may be several conclusions to several different questions developing at one time. When you have heard all the details you can then take each part separately and logically. Together you can logically process the different issues weighing on her mind and set her at ease.
Husbands do not be in a rush! The obvious answer may not be correct after you have all the details. Organize the information she has offered you. Ask her questions on anything you do not understand. By doing this you will earn the right to offer your opinion. Loving your wife is being patient with her. It may take time. BE PATIENT!!!!
